Battling Sleep Demons: A Guide to Safe Sleep
I hope that you are lucky enough to never have experienced sleep disturbances such as sleep paralysis and night terrors. However, if you fall in the 8-50% of the population who have, or regularly do, this post may interest you.
For years I have suffered from disrupted rest due to sleep paralysis and terrors. It happens sporadically and could frequent me once every 6 months or every night for a week.
What is sleep paralysis?
I think this is a fairly subjective experience and unique to everyone who experiences it. Personally, a typical event would go as follows:
Pretty soon after I drift off to sleep (not REM/deep sleep), a nightmare would start to materialise, terror ensues until I realise that this isn't actually reality i.e. lucid dream. Normally, the nightmare would be a terrifying presence in my bedroom, or a horrifying act occuring to me or indeed by me, that I have no control over. My whole body is frozen, paralysed. My voice is non-existent and my screams silent. I know I am sleeping and try to urge someone nearby to wake me up, to release me from these shackles of sleep. It's difficult to describe the level of panic and doom felt, it feels as though you are stuck forever.
My initial, petrified reaction is to try burst out of this tight frozen state. I exert all my energy to no avail, it hurts. I grind my teeth and my jaw aches. My throat is hoarse from the noiseless efforts of escape. If I could just move or make any noise I could be free. Sometimes it gets very messy when you think you've escaped from the nightmare but have actually fallen head-first into another. Some inception sheeet.
Sleep paralysis dates back hundreds of years and there are records of people describing 'mares' or 'evil spirits' sitting on their chest during the night, rendering them paralysed until they could break free. It was thought to be a supernatural phenomenon, a dark essence haunting you.
Scientifically, sleep paralysis is a state by which your mind has "woken up" but your body is still asleep; your brain essentially paralyses your body in slumber so you do not physically act out your dreams. So you're in a very confused/purgatory state. When you eventually do awake, it's a weird feeling of not knowing what's real, whats not and wtf just happened. It can leave you feeling apprehensive and anxious for hours after.
Recently, I have been experiencing this shit-show a lot more than I would enjoy! I reached out to my instagram followers seeking advice and to see if anyone else was going through something similar. I couldn't believe the response. My DMs were flooded with people experiencing very similar issues. It was wonderful and so comforting to know other people understood the issue, and as one of them put it "to know that you are not crazy!!!" (Thank you so much to everyone who messaged me by the way, so grateful. If you're reading this, I'm thinking of you and am so appreciative for your advice and support).
Many people messaging me were also seeking help. How can I control this? Why is this happening? Will it stop? HELP ME!! And while I didn't have all the answers, from all the messages of advice I received I built up a little knowledge base. For all those asking to share the advice I have learnt over the years and all the tips my lovely followers shared, this is for you! I figured it would be easier to have a central location to put this info and would be simpler for people to access without having to ask etc. Again, thank you to all those who gave me this advice, I'm simply summarising what I've learnt, this is a product of your kindness and helpfulness. So, here's the loot I gathered!
Causes of shitty sleep disorders like sleep paralysis/night terrors/nightmares/sleep panic
The general consensus of many cases seemed to be stress. Stress, anxiety and emotional distress leads to disturbed sleep and a heavy, unsettled subconscious, illustrating itself through dreams. This is also linked to PTSD and depressive thoughts.
Others reported diet, sleeping position and disturbed sleeping pattern/lack of sleep seemed to be the most common triggers. After nights out seemed to be a peak time for these events to occur, a mixture of The Fear, alcohol consumption and lack of sleep is the cocktail of nightmares - literally!
HOW TO AVOID ALL THIS SHITE AND SLEEP PEACEFULLY
1. Avoid alcohol before bed.
2. Avoid caffeinated drinks before bed. Opt for a herbal alternative or decaf, Pukka Tea "Night" for example.
3. Use essential oils such as lavender, to promote a state of relaxation before you sleep. Aromatherapy is the shit. Drop some onto your pillow, under your nose or use a diffuser.
4. DO NOT SLEEP ON YOUR BACK. This piece of advice kept popping up. It seems that sleeping in this position is the common denominator to many sleeping problems. It may be beneficial for your spinal health but people have totally switched off their sleep terrors by switching the way they sleep.
5. Meditate before bed. Alternatively, do some light yoga or stretching. Go onto Youtube and search for a meditation that you are drawn to. I enjoy "TheHonestGuys" and the app called "Headspace". Meditation clears your mind and grounds your body, setting yourself up for a serene snooze.
6. Keep a positive attitude, Reaffirm the fact that you will have a peaceful sleep. A negative mindset, e.g. "I'm gonna sleep awfully tonight, I've been having so many nightmares recently". If you know anything about the Law of Attraction, you are basically INVITING a horrible sleep to you. If you don't know anything about the L of A, check it out. Instead, go to sleep with a positive attitude and a strong mind, knowing that you can face anything that you encounter in the astral realm. Maybe write down a personal mantra that you read every night to affirm the fact aloud, e.g. "I am safe, I am strong and I will sleep peacefully". Literally anything that will convince your mind into a calm state. Journalling is another method of gathering and ordering your thoughts. By taking a few minutes each night to write down what happened that day, how you're feeling, something you've learnt etc, you will feel a sense of completeness and mindfulness. Also, journals are great to look back on in the future"
7. If an attack/paralysis does occur - do not struggle, do not fight, do not try to "burst". Instead, focus all of your attention on one part of your body like your fingers or your toes. Attempt, calmly to wiggle your finger/toe. This advice has been successful for many sufferers - just a slight movement can help to end this experience. By mindfully moving just one part, you are not only occupying your mind but are restarting movement in the body without the strain of trying to use force. You body and mind will thank you for this.
Another technique that was brought to my attention was to attempt to release a quiet sound. Instead of trying to scream at the top of your lungs, attempt to whisper, to whistle, to exhale audibly. Your focus is to stir the body in the most gentle way possible.
8. Alternative methods such as the use of remedies like; Rescue Remedy Sleep Spray, Kalms Night and CBD Oil. A quick google search or chat to a pharmacist could help you find something that suits you.
I hope that this Guide to Safe Sleeping helped! If one person finds something useful in this article then JOB DONE! Thanks for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Check out this Buzzfeed post for more info on Sleep Paralysis:
Sweet Dreams